Saturday, May 10, 2008

That Pesky Driver's Seat

Recently a situation has arisen in my life that is causing me to slide back into anxiety. I realize that I'm falling back into an old pattern of behavior - trying to alleviate my anxiety by controlling. My brain has been busy with a million contingency plans, somehow trying to convince myself that if I have a plan for every possibility, nothing can go wrong. This seems logical, but it actually has the effect of increasing my anxiety level exponentially.

Lao-Tzu asks:
Do you have the patience to wait
till your mud settles and the water is clear?
Can you remain unmoving
till the right action arises by itself?

The Master doesn't seek fulfillment.
Not seeking, not expecting,
she is present, and can welcome all things.

This seems easy enough if one is alone in the world, but when a family is involved it is hard to accept that everything will be all right if left alone. It is hard to trust that the universe can take care of my loved ones without my intervention. It is hard to believe that I do not have to do anything today to solve the problems that may arise in 6 months or a year. It is hard to let go of the imaginary reins and let the horses guide us safely to peace and harmony.

Just for today, I will remain unmoving and welcome all things.