Maybe it's not hogwash after all.

Since I got married, I've been doing yoga with my husband almost every day. We have this book on Hatha that was written in the seventies and is still in print. I was really reluctant to start it, partly because I am naturally averse to exercise for the sake of exercise, and partly because it just seems so bean-sprouty. I was convinced to try it by the Mayo Clinic, who recommend yoga as an alternative therapy for all joint pain, including carpal tunnel syndrome, from which I had been greatly suffering.

Strangely, I've found that I really enjoy doing it, and it makes me feel lighter, more youthful, and just generally toned up. It also eliminated my carpal tunnel syndrome for a while, although it has come back again the last couple of days.

But the really weird and unexpected thing is that I've been having these spontaneous Zen-like thoughts when I sit quietly and "listen to my body" at the end of the session, especially the more difficult sessions. I'm starting to think that there really is some spiritual truth to be accessed just by the practice of yoga. The first time it happened I suddenly felt as one with the universe. The next time I truly felt the duality of the universe and of God, and accepted it as good (how Zen can you get?).

Last night the session was very difficult for me, as I was really tired when we started. But after the exercises, as I was sitting quietly, I started to think about the voice inside of me, and how it is a sort of guru who knows the way my body wants to move. At first I had my normal reaction to those sorts of insights, and started having automatic thoughts about how different and special I am. Then it came to me that everyone has a guru voice inside him/her, and that each of us can listen to it if we choose. Then the Zen moment:

I remembered how my son Peter and I used to sneer at school administrators who said in speeches something like "Everyone here is a winner" or "All of you are special." Peter says that if everyone is special, by definition, no one is special, and that therefore the administrators are really saying that no child is special. We got a lot of amusement out of it.

Then I saw that that is exactly the truth: we are all special, and therefore no one is special. We are all unique, and yet we are all human, and have the same exact spark that makes us not only human, but a part of life, and all living beings have something of that same divine essence. I felt great self-worth, based on my very being, and also a great humility and respect for other living beings, as well as a oneness with all.

Sheesh. I never thought I could write such twaddle and actually mean it. Is this spiritual progress?

Just for today, I will remember that everyone is special, and therefore no one is special.